When the medicine is right on time.
Harvested the first wild rose yesterday, and my heart needed that steady heady love so so so.
Our farm is full of these, all the pastures we don't really manage perfect for filling up with rose.
I like to think they represent the two tenants this farm is a fortress of, the protector of them, even:: LOVE and WILDNESS.
Wild love, untamed loveliness, love of the wild, in love with what's wild, spreading love like wild things spread, thorns of love to keep at bay that which would harm any of this love. Loving wildly.
#rosemedicine
#growingwildfarm
There is nothing I want to do more in honor of yesterday's full moon in Scorpio than tell you a story. A story about my abortion. Nothing I want to do more than normalize this part of being a human with a womb. The fucked up part is that I, me, a person who feels ruled by truth telling, who puts honest realness beyond the veil of society-ness at the forefront of all of my doings, especially after the path to 40 didn't lead to me catching a wave, but to me choosing to end a pregnancy, still, I feel bound in this story. Bound by a stigma, a lack of understanding all around, a shroud of quietness. By a religion, that I don't even give a fuck about. An idea that any divinity is punishing, that there is a moral question in this regard. No.
Still, I hesitate to speak on this utterly life changing, deeply empowering experience. I haven't even told my kids, like I should be ashamed, when I am not. Not at all.
But, for now, Mugwort and I just want to say one thing. Those who hurt me more than any white male legislators--getting all the flack for the recent legal restrictions in some states--are the women who make this their one and only reason for voting here in the US. Honestly, fuck you. Christianity has been around for a blip in the comparative history of women and plants working together to choose. We are connected in deeper ways than you allow. All primordial goddesses were creators and destroyers, because the earth herself is not made of light alone. This body we came in is not for others to control. The highest form of embodied holiness is knowing your own power, being open to letting life and death flow through and around you in equal honor, because you are home here now. Heaven is your body. And no God-light is ever going to damn a drop of themselves.
#weareearth
#normalizeabortion
#mugwortmedicine
#scorpiomedicine
#taurusmedicine
#growingeverwilder
I was legit sitting way out in the field in the tall canary grass, away from the house, after working market all day today, kinda hiding, enjoying the wind rush warm air. On this mother's day it was what I wanted most.
The truth is I don't feel too many oohy gooey feelings about motherhood anymore. When I did, when it consumed me, four small beings, gestation and breastfeeding and all the time togetherness, it was sweet, don't get me wrong. And healing.
My abandonment to it all was deeply, deeply healing to my own little self.
But it's different now. I wish, in a way, I hadn't over given so much. I feel like there could have been a balance, if I wasn't overcorrecting for things. But hindsight is only partially useful, I usually opt for embracing.
It was good.
But these days, I feel most myself in non-mothering scenarios, a me that went underground for a long time. A me that feels like the best gift of all today was finding these highbush cranberries blooming this morning before going out to market and being seen by other adults, seen through the plants, the medicines, through my smile and presence, seen in a different way than the mother who gives rides and says yes too easily and does the dishes every night even though I shouldn't.
In a way, though, still seen for my mothering of the all, beyond my little-big family.
When I came inside, I strung the happy birthday banner over the couch in my oldest's room, blew up balloons, for his friend who is staying with us for now, because despite many things, we do have the yes and love and care thing going, even if it breaks and opens my heart every day, motherloving, the world wide.
#growingeverwilder
#wildmotherhood
#honestmotherhood
