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Thankful

November 21, 2011 by growingwildfarm

It has been harder than usual to sit down and begin the process of clearly bringing to the light the specific things I am grateful for this year.  Although this task is meant to remind us that we usually have so very much to be thankful for and the act of giving that thanks builds up our spirits and reminds us of all the good that abounds, it can also make one wonder why others in the world find themselves suffering at the same time we are feeling so fortunate.  I felt quite a bit like this last year too, although I can’t help smiling when I look back at this list.  I think there are two things at work causing this feeling and one is just the simple fact that life contains both tremendous joy and tremendous sorrow and there is no logic to the wheel of fortune.  The other, less existential, piece of the puzzle is that there are simply a lot more people right here that are having a hard time.  Growing up from 1976 on, I have always felt like the really hard stuff was happening to other people in other countries.  I really felt like prosperity was there for all but for the taking (or the making might be more accurate).  I can’t help but feel that even though there are still places in the world living in situations that make everything we are going through here look like a walk in the park, that there is less assurance now that all will fine.  How does one count their blessings without realizing that there is always a part of our good times that is riding the roulette wheel of chance and circumstance, when friends and neighbors are on the flip side?

But in the thick of these thoughts, this one really does shine like a beacon for me; I am quite thankful for a whole lot of things, and with compassion and concern for others ever present, I still don’t want to let this Thanksgiving pass without bringing my attention fully to my blessings.  I think this year I will spread them out over the course of a few days because today, I really just want to focus on how thankful we are for our CSA members and regular market customers and the gratitude we have for this work we do.  This farm provides our family with so much more than just income, and without our wonderful farm members and customer base, this wouldn’t be possible.

So here is just a small bit of what we are thankful for, things that all of you have helped our family enjoy:

  • Being connected.  In one sense, the mere fact that we operate a small business whose customer base is solely our very own community connects us to our community more than if we worked with a different business model.  All of the buy local hoopla is certainly not hoopla!  Aside from the responsibility generated between consumer and producer when things are kept face to face, there is just something so awesome about getting to know all hosts of people who share the same town or valley as you do, who you will talk with each week while doing business but will also see at the park with your kids, the library, the festivals, and out and about at the other local businesses in town.  And often, farm members and customers are other local business owners from town and often other vendors at our farmer’s markets.  We get to see first hand the truth behind the significance a thriving local economy can have and our farm opens the door to this interconnectedness,that given the instability of the world market, gives me hope for our own smaller, community marketplace.  But this community connectedness is just one side of the coin; being able to farm for a living has allowed for our family to enjoy a really wonderful lifestyle of connectedness.  For goodness sakes!  We live, learn, play, and work altogether on this farm, everyday (aside from market days I suppose, when we get to come live, learn, play and work with all of you!).  Family togetherness has always been one of our main hopes for this family, and we feel truly blessed to be able to see this achieved while we do work we find so satisfying.  Some years the farm is in a growing stage, and we all feel a little flustered about whether we are balancing business life and family life well.  This was one of those year…but nevertheless, we still ate almost every meal together at our table and made time for the small things that define enjoyment for all of us (you know, strawberry desserts in spring, the creek and a picnic in summer, hot tea and gathering leaves in the fall).  We are so thankful for this, more thankful than for almost anything else.
  •  Being nourished.  Being able to grow delicious produce for a living has allowed our family to eat like kings.  We fill our plates with the same beautiful, tasty produce we harvest for all of you and even in moments of business motivated crisis (these happen, although not too much!), I always remind myself of this added richness we enjoy.  The food we grow, or any other local farmer grows, is so superior in flavor and offers so much more enjoyment in the eating that we really do feel like we eat lavishly, especially when we couple our products with the wonderful products others offer at market.  We know that eating so many well raised vegetables also acts to keep us strong and healthy.  We are nourished both by the experience and in our bodies.  Coupled with the fact that doing work that we feel is important and that we feel makes the world a better place has been another one of our main hopes as a couple, so we are nourished in spirit by having the opportunity to do so.  We are so thankful for thriving in the most important ways.
  • Being challenged.  This is a double sided gratitude, because although our business has grown every year and we are still moving forward, starting your own business can be extremely challenging and starting a farm business comes with its own set of challenges.  Nevertheless, all challenges present an opportunity for growth, and I can say that without a doubt, we have both grown so much in this process, all in positive ways.  There is the simple way in which we are challenged to constantly learn the intricacies of our craft and to learn new (to us) things about farming and living on the land.  We must find ways to adapt and solve problems.  But more significantly, the process has challenged our humility, our physical and mental endurance, our kindness, our shyness, our relationship skills, and our sanity!  And along the way, we find ourselves so happy to be here, to be the people we are, the family we have made, the life we have created in the process of creating this business.  Living your dreams is not easy, but the truth is that it is the act of pursuing them that is the real deal.  That is the stuff that makes our stories and we are so thankful for it all because it is our story!
  • Being free.  This one I know will sound silly, but I can’t help but relate to the words of Almonzo’s mother in Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder, which I can’t find right now, but basically express the feeling that Almonzo won’t be free if he takes an apprenticeship in town and doesn’t pursue farming.  His father is worried whether farming will provide him with enough security, enough money, and knows that it is such hard work; but his mother simply can’t stand the thought of him not being free!  Now, this freedom is kind of up to the individual, and I am not saying that one can’t find it doing just about anything;  but for us, living on this farm and working with the land, for ourselves, we feel free.  Not unencumbered, because the farm ties us to it with pretty tight binds, but as others have worked out before me, we can’t really be free without fitting to ourselves the right strings.  For us, the bounds of farm and family life give us the freedom we need, the freedom to pursue all those things I just wrote about, and we are ever thankful for that.
  • Being thankful.  Ultimately, without all of you finding it beneficial and important to participate in our CSA and to visit us at market every week, we wouldn’t  have all of this to be thankful for.  This farm and this business is really such an integral part of our lives, connecting us to this place and the wonderful people we share it with, to each other.  It shapes our days and our time, our health and our lifestyle.  It gives us so much more than just a livelihood.  This Thanksgiving, we can’t help but say, repeatedly….thank you!!!

Posted in CSA, family, farm, farming, gratitude, home, thanksgiving | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment »

Golden, Brown, and Green

November 6, 2011 by growingwildfarm

All around the farm, the golden brown of autumn surrounds us.  Summer plants have died and are in various states of decay, the leaves are well on their way, shouting out in bright yellow before falling quiety to the ground.  Always on this farm, we live up close and personal with this cycle–the cycle of the seasons:  growth, death, decay, re-birth.  That this cycle is matter of fact, that it applies to all that lives and breathes this fine air of life, this truth permeates, so to speak.   The more shocking truth that we have come to know as we spend time out here is that everything we are engaged in at one time on the farm is also always playing itself out on the other end of the spectrum too, at the same time.  We are in a constant state of duality.

Life and death, or death and life as it is at this time of year…ever present, side by side.  Just as the summer crops turn to mush and the leaves crinkle and dry up, there is an explosion of green in the fields.  So much green, much like in the spring, only darker and sturdier are the leaves, full of the promise to feed us through the cold.  The brown billy goat smells up the farm with his inate drive to make life now, just as so much around him dies away.  Next spring, those baby goats will liven up this place, just as the tender and bright green shoots of spring brighten the bleak landscape of winter once more.   And in spring, while all that life is exploding, we will be planting and planning for the coming winter again, sowing crops for harvest half a year away.

When my parents passed away,  I found this all so comforting.  In an abstract way, it really is.  It does allow one to feel connected, even in death, to something grand and beautiful in design.  Still, this fall I can’t help but feel a distinct separateness from this.  Human tragedy seems to superceed this design.  Is there comfort to be found in knowing life goes on with or without us, with or without our hopes and dreams?  I don’t know.  In the face of inexplicable human sorrow, where do we search for meaning?

Fall is the great time of turning inward.  The spark of thoughts germinating inside as we lived more loudly through summer are finally given air.  There is so much this month for my family to be thankful for, this farm and our lives are so truly blessed.  Yet, at the same time we are faced with loss and deep wells of compassion for our friend’s and loved ones we know who have suffered unbearable losses in this life.  This duality is so confusing, and yet, in the day to day workings around here, we work and play as ever we did.  Like the earth that forever puts forth both the blossoms of life as well as the blankets of dying leaves, we live both sides of the coin simultaneously.  The deepest joys coupled with the deepest pains; we feel them, let them shine or burn the center momentarily depending, but mostly let them lie on the periphery while we continue with the day to day. 

Such mysteries I can not understand on this beautiful fall morning!  All I know is that wherever we are on our paths today, most of us have only things to be thankful for.  Let us not give weight to the small things–the intermitent pests on the crops, the unpredictable weather, the hard day; these things matter little in the grand scheme.  My own personal harvest is so bountiful and beautiful, there has been no great suffering.  Why?  How?  I can’t say, but it is selfish to do anything else but feel those blessings and let go of the rest.  I am saving my worry for others.

Posted in challenges, cycles, duality, gratitude, nature, thanksgiving | Tagged , , | 3 Comments »

Stumbling into Fall

October 31, 2011 by growingwildfarm

I actually shudder to admit that this great slowing down time on the farm, the wonderful quieting of that raucous din that is summer around here, is proving to be neither quiet or slow after all.  September came, and suddenly I am so busy with homeschooling and activities for the kids and trying to squeeze a little bit of time out of all of that for taming the wildness that summer inevitably created inside our home while we worked and played outside for a season (which doesn’t make sense when you think about it, does it?),  that I have had little time to give to my “office” and “writing” duties for the farm.  Ideas come and go, poignant and thoughtful or just simple and funny, but I rarely have the time to sit down and put them to pen (so to speak!).

I keep thinking that with just one day to get things organized, a day to breath so to speak, I could get on top of this schedule and find the missing time; but the reality is that this  life will always be busy, or rather full, what with six of us and a farm in the cards, so the busy part all comes down mostly to a state of mind…and then just a little bit of good planning.  I am making a point to find the moments to breathe, and learning to live with certain piles until that grand day of organizing comes.   In the meantime, we take the time to stop a day of cleaning and wood chopping to carve those pumpkins with the small folks, we scoot the pile of school stuff out of the way and gather around the first fires in the woodstove with our board games and our books or various musical instruments.  I say the heck with it all and pick up the knitting basket instead of the vacuum, because life really is short, and the days, even shorter.  This fall has been glorious, with so many perfect, shiny golden days, with the bold colors of trees exploding before they go to bed reminding us to celebrate it all and the less showy but equally soothing colors of decay all over the farm our companions.  Busy isn’t going to cut it anymore.

Maybe this winter will bring with it some quiet?  Or more likely than not, it won’t, and so we will just have to continue practicing our graceful walk though this life one day at a time…with just a bit of stumbling along the way.

Posted in challenges, changes, children, cycles, fall, family, farm, gratitude, Halloween, home | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Making Do

September 25, 2011 by growingwildfarm

After waiting patiently through an entire summer, we finally made it to the beach as a family a few weekends ago.  And much like the time until then was filled with many good intentions to get there that never worked out, the trip itself went nothing like we had planned. 

 

The camping the night before–scratched.   Because really, we should have known better than to plan to camp over an hour from home after a full day at our Saturday farmer’s market. 

 

The early morning meet up with our friends, whom we were supposed to camp with the previous night, so we could still spend some time together–nope!  Busy baby boy was not a happy car traveler that morning and they were ready to head home by the time we arrived. 

 

And the Farmer’s one and only chance to surf this summer since he is still borrowing surfing  equipement from those friends–missed!

 

After what seems like a year full of plans not seeing fruition, arriving that day at the beach to a gray sky and that chill coastal breeze instead of a nice sunny day (like the day before), layering on our warm hats and jackets, and saying good-bye to our friends–I couldn’t help but feel a bit defeated as we walked down to the beach.

 

What a year!  We made a plan last winter, took the leap, and instead of dividing his attention by working off the farm from late fall to early spring as the farmer has always done, he stayed here and kept things moving forward.  And it was a good plan, one we feel worked out well for the business.  We moved the CSA back to its original, more traditional structure, and took the commitments to our farm at the beginning of the year, spreading the farm income out more evenly over the course of the whole year.  We expanded the CSA to close to what our first year CSA number was, only this time we had enough good soil to grow in and enough years of growing vegetables for a CSA under our belt to make it a wholly positive experience for both our farm members and us farmers.

 

This part of our plan has been a real joy this year!  We love the CSA and all it brings to our farm!  So many great members, connections, interactions!  So much great food to share. 

 

The real kicker for the year was the weather, and the fact that making the farmer’s markets, and the income generated from them, a necessary part of your farm income lacks all of what the CSA doesn’t.  The cool and wet, extra long spring meant crop failures and lower yields…all of that is lost income.  And markets are truly unpredictable and fickle at times.  Come September when our farm is producing the most food of the year, the markets are almost always quieter and slower while everyone adjusts to the change in seasons, the start of school, and the end of summer, not to mention the abundance of their own or their neighbor’s home gardens.  As with every year since our start, the business grew and had many successes, but the growth was not quite as much as we had planned, and the buffer we needed against the unpredictable affect of weather and farmer’s markets on our business was not as great as we would like it to be. 

 

There have been stresses, mostly financial, and a busier farmer;  less days to play and enjoy the summer as a family, less help in the house and with the children (one more, no less).  It was a year so different from last that even though we have been through growing pains in the process of building this farm business before, it took me by surprise, and I don’t think I really wrapped my head around it and settled in until just last month.  As much as I find myself chanting words like embrace, let go, and enjoy under my breath when I am talking to new mother’s, thinking all the time about how the easiest thing to do with a new baby and your new motherhood when it seems challenging is to just let go of everything else and be with that little person, knowing so well myself what they can’t know yet, that the time when they need you the most will go by so fast, this summer I found myself with expectations of our lives not being met and spending time worrying about it instead of heading my own advice.

 

But that day at the beach, after everyone let go of the expectations we had for the day, after we built a little fire and centered ourselves around it, we ended up having  the most amazing and satisfying day.  The children built driftwood forts, stuck their toes in the very cold waves, flew kites, and didn’t stop for one moment to bicker or cry or otherwise not jsut have fun.  The baby dug right in and explored  that sand, so happy, so cute.  The farmer played around with his mandolin by the fire.  Later he and the baby napped.  And I just sat there watching them all, my beautiful people, thinking about how simple and easy and wonderful we have it, together in such a beautiful place.  Then I took some pictures and read for longer in one sitting than I had the whole year–bliss!

 

This day that had seemed to be almost impossible to get to and was not turning out as we had planned, ended up being so perfect.  All it took was a little bit of letting go to enjoy it, to embrace it as it was.

 

And that is just what I have needed to do all summer long.  Choosing this life—to be family focased, to do work that we really love and think is important but that is equally challenging and as it is rewarding–it requires that we be the kind of people who can make do.  We have to be completely frugal, in a way that might seem a little crazy to some (and does to me at times, believe me!), we have to give in to the long days of work summer holds for us, to let go of having things in any old way we might like them and embracing the difference in what we can and can’t do depending on the land, the weather, the season, the work to be done to bring the food to both our table and yours, and the tending and care four small people need at every given moment from us.  But the fact of the matter is, we are make do kind of people, so this hasn’t been that hard for us to do. 

 

This summer, as busy as it was for the farmer and as tight as the belt needed to be cinched and aside from my own slow acceptance of the kind of year it was going to be, the children never skipped a beat.  Their expectations in life are family togetherness, time to play, play, play, to spend time with their friends sharing joy, for good food at our table as a family, stories upon stories to read, and the occasional camping trip and day trips to the creeks and lakes around us.  There is very little else that they clammer for.   They are happy little farm kids, and thankfully, they have not felt too much sting from the slow but steady pace we have been at as we build up this farm. 

 

This isn’t to say that every year as we plan, we plan according to our vision of the farm, which undoubtably looks a bit more secure on the financial end and allows for at least one day off each week during the summer so that we can come together and relax, together, even at our busiest times.  More time for hiking and camping, definitely.  A tad bit more freedom to make time for getting together with our friends and family, yes!  But what else do we really need?  Not much. 

 

For the rest, I think we can probably make do, as long as we have each other.

Posted in challenges, children, family, farming, home, summer | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The sleepy sun

September 8, 2011 by growingwildfarm

This morning the farmer gently nudged me awake at 6:00 but getting out of bed was the last thing I wanted to do–it was so darn dark out still!  The days are getting shorter by the minute.  A relief in many ways.  Last night I had help with the dishes while I managed the bedtimes of four sweet little urchins for the first time since March, right around the time of the last Equinox.  Day length is such a huge part of our routines, the seasons so wildly different in how our family operates and what our days look like.  As hard as it is to take the very full and long work days of summer, we gain equal measure of respite in the cooler, darker months.  That is a blessing.

All of our space for planting is planted, aside from the ground we will plant garlic in.  Of course, the weather has to challenge us in one way or another, and so just as we transplant very heat sensitive Asian and mustard greens out in the fields, we get the hottest days yet of this summer.  Some had already bolted in the seed tray, I am sure some will bolt after this weekend too, so depending on how they look, we may replant from seed some of these greens.  Still, we managed to get the farmer away to a picnic and to the creek in the early evening this week and we are headed to the beach to camp this weekend.  After an especially busy year, our family is happy to watch the sun set a little earlier.

That sunrise, however, could stay just as early as in summer I say– I do loathe waking up when it is still dark!  Some things don’t change with the seasons, and a mama has to get up and start the day at about the same time the whole year through!

Posted in changes, children, fall, family, farm, farming, home, weather | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The shift

September 1, 2011 by growingwildfarm

 

 

 

After a really lovely few weeks of hot weather came along to wrap up August and summer it seems, this week brought with it a definite chill to the air, the seeds of autumn flying in on the breeze, ready to fully bloom sooner than later by the feel of things.  Are we ready for this shift;  the shorter days so noticable already, the extra blanket on the bed?  I’m not sure.  Breaking 90 degrees felt good and a series of nights too hot for blankets went a long way to help, but I have to admit the feeling of an especially “short” summer is still here with me, even as we lovingly ready the house for more inside time, plan and dream about our homeschool year, and talk excitedly with friends about what we will be making for the kids for Christmas this year. 

This week, the farmer felt the beginning of the slow down too.  His window for planting most things is past, he will just be sowing more winter greens–seeds of arugula and Asian greens, transplants of mustards and some kale.  That is about it besides the big garlic planting.  As always, we were behind with some plantings and the time to plant things ended before we had it all done.  This has just been the way of things with the limitations one (very hard) worker and a (very hard worked)  homeowner’s rototiller have brought to our operation.  We feel like we have done an awesome job building the business with our bare hands so to speak, but we are really looking forward to how much more we will be able to grow next year and how much better our timing will be with the help of our beautiful Ford 8N. 

The kids are harvesting overgrown Romanesco zucchinis, carving faces in them with jackets on in the early morning this week.  They still want to fill up the mud pit/swimming hole Luca so expertly dug and splash around, but they realized on Monday it was just too cold.  It looks like it will warm to the high 80′s again this weekend, and seeing as how our first and last trip to the beach of the summer isn’t happening until the weekend after that, I have to say I am hoping for more warm weather then, too.  Otherwise, I realize it is time to settle and embrace the inevitable.  The moving of the circle around to the next notch again.

Posted in changes, children, cycles, fall, family, farm, farming, home, summer, weather | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Status Update

August 27, 2011 by growingwildfarm

 

This is really going to change everything.   We are pretty darn happy.

Details on this new old addition coming soon, but for now, if you happen to live here in the valley with us, feel free to come on over to the farm Sunday night and join us for an open farm night.  Super casual, community gathering, potluck style.  4:00pm.

And if you come, please do bring your own flatware if possible.

E-mail us at growingwild@french.toast.net if you need the farm address!

Posted in community, CSA, farm, farming, local, mcminnville, potluck | Tagged , | 1 Comment »

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